Dilemma of a Guarded Heart

I hear the steadfast drums that beat
the tune of life so tender.
Remembering its origin
I journeyed to reenter.

I found the place I heard the beat
but found that place was barred.
I yearned to step inside the gates
the iron gate stood guard.

And I, the owner of the place
built up those steadfast walls
to keep from ugliness and pain
that permeate its halls.

But now the gates are barred too tight
and none can enter in,
The iron bars keep me from ever
entering again.

I pulled with all my feeble might
two iron bars opposed.
The stronger of us two did win--
the iron gate stayed closed.

The more I tried to get inside
more fervent my desire,
for something hidden deep within
intensified my fire.

A gift that I alone could give
was safely kept within.
And now I want to give that gift
but simply can't get in.